


~l'heure entre chien et loup~

by OriginalMaleDog



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat, Hatoful Kareshi | Hatoful Boyfriend, Hyakujitsu no Bara | Maiden Rose, Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler, Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Bad Bang, Bilingual Character(s), Crack Crossover, Deliberate Bad Art, Deliberate Badfic, Gen, Jealousy, M/M, Nonnies Made Me Do It, Other, POV Canine, Roses, Sex Pollen, TW: mentions of rolled-up newspaper, TW: mentions of veterinarian visits, Tanks, ascii art, black magic, nekomimi, pastede on yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 11:05:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3607785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OriginalMaleDog/pseuds/OriginalMaleDog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Akio-car was not the first Ohtori vehicle to have a strange aura of power about it...</p>
            </blockquote>





	~l'heure entre chien et loup~

**Author's Note:**

  * For [corcou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/corcou/gifts).



> WARNING: this fic contains mentions of an INTERSPECIES (that means Cat x Dog) relationship. Don't like, don't read!  
>    
>  "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."  
>  —Robert A. Heinlein  
>    
>  ❤ இڿڰۣ-ڰۣ— ❤ இڿڰۣ-ڰۣ— ❤ இڿڰۣ-ڰۣ— ❤ இڿڰۣ-ڰۣ— ❤ இڿڰۣ-ڰۣ— ❤ 

  


 

"So this is the new tank 'Mokushiroku' that Akio-dono has sent as a gift for my birthday," chirped Taki brightly, his tail fluffed with excitement. "What a splendid vehicle!" A distant, unhappy rumbling of motors echoed from the tank stables as if in response to his words. _Murakumo and Onokami must be jealous of their master's shiny new toy_ , thought Klaus, his ears slightly flattened backwards. _Can't say I blame them, for once. I've never even met this Akio myself and I'm not sure I like him either..._

"It is truly an impressive piece of machinery," agreed Suguri, tail twitching with suspicion as he glared up at the tank. "Although there is something strangely ambiguous about the way it's been painted. Is it red or green?"

Klaus shrugged his broad, lupine shoulders in agreement. "Damned if I can tell. But what else is new?"

"So uncertainty. Such confuse. Wow! No can haz answer?" sighed the feline/canine hybrid Azusa.

"My lord, I must protest your presence here in the strongest possible terms!" blustered Hasebe, tail lashing with agitation. "This vehicle has not yet been fully vetted for safety—"

"Did someone say 'vet'?" snarled Klaus, hackles rising at the hated word. "VET?" yowled Date in turn, tail bottle-brushed in distress, as he prepared to dive into the shrubbery. Moriya, standing next to him, forcibly restrained the shorter cat with a firm grasp on his shoulder.

"Not that kind of vet, _baka_ ," the taller megane cat intoned stiffly. Date flushed in embarrassment, studiously grooming his tail as if nothing were amiss.

"As I was saying," the Grand Chamberlain continued, glaring at the junior officers. "Before you can be permitted to ride on the new tank, Taki-sama, it must be thoroughly tested for safety! Lord Akio's motives are uncertain and not to be trusted. This could be part of a plot."

"I must respectfully agree, Taki-sama," interjected Uemura, ears flattened with anxiety. "A safety test before you take the Mokushiroku into the field personally would only be prudent. There have recently been the most...unsavory...rumors about the Ohtori family, and about Akio-sama in particular. We must be cautious."

Taki drew himself up to his full diminutive height, glaring up at the older cats with an imperious glitter in his huge sapphire orbs. "Nonsense! The Ohtori are one of the noblest of the great Branch Families and traditional allies of House Reizen. How dare you question their loyalty? And even if I were to agree that your fears in this matter are not baseless, how dare you presume to dictate that I must not share in the risk my loyal cats are taking for me?" Uemura and Hasebe sweatdropped and quailed at the force of their tiny lord's outburst, ears pinned back in dismay.

Klaus struggled to stifle a laugh at their discomfiture, and to suppress the aroused nosebleed and dazzled cloud of sparkles that tended to appear around him whenever Taki demanded respect for his authority. _He's so hot when he's tsun-tsun,_ thought the golden-furred canine knight, surreptitiously wiping away the string of drool that threatened to spill from his lust-slackened jaws.

"As you wish, Taki-sama," Hasebe and Uemura intoned in dutiful unison as the Division Commander's personal tank crew clambered on board the Mokushiroku.

Taki turned his attention next to Klaus, whose ears pricked up and tail began to wag lazily as he met his petite master's lapis gaze. "Klaus, lift me up," Taki demanded with a lordly gesture, and the tall captain eagerly complied, sniffing deeply as he hoisted the little colonel up to his favorite perch on the tank's turret. The obsidian-furred feline smelled amazing as always, like the most glorious blend of cat food and roses and something uniquely him, and the foreigner was once again left shaking with the effort to obey his commands when all he wanted to do was throw the other onto the ground and just roll around in that glorious scent. _No, I can't. I mustn't. I promised him I would be a GOOD dog from now on, damnit. Wolf. Whatever._ With a heavy sigh, he released his lingering grasp on Taki's delicately tiny (but not technically underage) body and stepped back from the tank.

"Are you ready, crew?" the diminutive lordling inquired through the open hatch. He was answered by an echoing chorus from the cats within the Mokushiroku.

"Ready, sir!" grumped the middle-aged cat.

"Affirmative!" uttered the taller, bespectacled younger feline.

"Yes!" shouted the shorter, genki younger cat.

"O hai sempai noticed me! DO WANT!" yowled the blondette hybrid who was midway in height between the two younger cats.

"Start the engine!" Taki commanded. The Mokushiroku thundered into life, but the sound of the great motor was almost instantly drowned out by a blast of blaring, dissonantly percussive and driving music like nothing Klaus had ever heard before, pouring through the air despite there being no readily apparent source for the mysterious tune. As the Saxon dog snarled warily, clouds of ambiguously-colored aromatic smoke began to pour out from the muzzle of the tank's main gun, whipped about by a sudden swirling gust of wind that was somehow blowing along massive drifts of ambiguously-colored rose petals, even though it was midwinter.

"Oh no! What is happening? This is utterly mortifying," wailed Taki, blushing furiously as a fresh blast of wind inexplicably managed to tear open his coat, jacket, and shirt simultaneously, baring his entrancingly pale naked chest as the parted garments fluttered dramatically from his shoulders like a many-layered cape.

"Don't worry, Taki! I'll save you!" Klaus howled as he leapt onto the tank with a single bound of his long, powerful canine legs. He swooped in and caught up the small, swooning cat in his strong arms, and was preparing to jump back down when he was distracted by a breathy moan from his precious burden.

"Klaus...help me...please. So...hot..." Taki moaned. The lilliputian cat's pupils were blown, completely round and dark, and his face was flushed an ambiguous color with shame, but he was purring and writhing within Klaus' grasp, clutching desperately at the taller dog's uniform jacket with his tiny hands, and he smelled like...he smelled...

Klaus had no words for the indescribably wonderful aroma assaulting his olfactory nerves, robbing him of all higher brain functions and reducing him to a creature of pure instinct and hunger. "Taki..." he rumbled somewhere deep in his chest, as the smaller cat slipped out of his arms to stand unsteadily before him.

"Klaus..." the blushing cat purred breathily, swaying helplessly on his tiny feet as he struggled to remain upright.

"Taki...!" the older dog growled throatily, tongue lolling helplessly from his gaping, drool-edged jaws.

"Klaus...!" the younger feline mewled again, voice rising to a fevered pitch, as a fresh cloud of rose petals drifted past on the breeze.

The Westerner's only response to this was a wordless, bestial howl as he pounced eagerly on the keening cat and bore him down bodily onto the deck of the tank with an echoing metallic thud. Soon the air was filled with the sound of moans and purrs and howls, and occasional discarded garments, fluttering heavily on the breeze like vastly larger and much less ambiguously-colored petals.

"Catnip gas, _again_! I knew Ohtori shouldn't be trusted!" shrieked the chamberlain in outrage, slightly muffled by the gas mask he'd conveniently slapped on earlier. "And that damned mad dog, too...we must put him down for good, once and for all!"

The major, gasping for breath behind his own convenient gas mask, nodded gravely in agreement. "Then it's finally time for..."

"Yes," snarled the taller middle-aged cat. "All of our other tactics have failed. Prepare for the demon-summoning ritual!" The two portly older cats dutifully turned their backs on the distressing sight of the activities taking place atop the Mokushiroku, and struggled to ignore the growing crescendo of moans, whimpers, and squelching noises, punctuated by occasional pieces of clothing flung to the ground; they gritted their teeth, flattened their ears, and focused themselves single-mindedly on readying the various mystical accoutrements they began to retrieve from the numerous and capacious pockets of their uniforms.

***✿•*¨`*•. ….♥ •.¸.•´♥… .•*¨`*•✿*** ♥ ***✿•*¨`*•. ….♥ •.¸.•´♥… .•*¨`*•✿*** ♥ ***✿•*¨`*•. ….♥ •.¸.•´♥… .•*¨`*•✿***

Several hours later, just as the noises the mature felines were desperately trying to pretend they could not hear finally died down to occasional breathy growls and purrs, the complicated business of drawing eldritch runes and sigils and chanting unspeakable incantations was at last complete. Uemura lit the final ambiguously-colored candle as the other straightened the hood of his sinister cultist's robes and bellowed "Demon, I command you to show yourself!"

There was a blinding flash of light within the circle of salt, followed by a billowing cloud of dark, acrid smoke that cleared to reveal two strange figures, unsettlingly tall and willowy and utterly lacking in the tail and secondary ears any normal, earthly creature should possess. One had long, pale fur and was naked, cringing at the feet of one with short, dark fur and pristine dark garments, who was cruelly brandishing a rolled-up newspaper over the other's whimpering form.

"...told you before, Pluto, no running naked through the manor in human shape! Bad dog!" the darker one snapped irritably. "But what's this...demon summoners, _again_? I am supposed to be on the Do Not Call list, blast it all. Gentlemen, you are about to find that I do not appreciate being disturbed. Especially not while in the midst of preparing a dinner party for my lord..." His eerily glowing eyes turned to rake over Hasebe and Uemura, who shrank back in mortal terror at the demon's hideously unnatural appearance. Hasebe, in his haste to back away, tripped over a loose stone; as the Grand Chamberlain stumbled, the hood of his robe slipped off his head completely.

"Oh, my!" cooed the dark-haired demon, his tones changed in an instant from cold menace to syrupy delight. "Can this truly be a world of _cats_? What an unexpected pleasure! For that, my furry little friends, even the rudeness of your interruption can be forgiven." He scuffed the magic circle open with one impeccably-shod foot and strode out to lean over Hasebe, face fixed into a sparkling smile that was somehow even more terrifying than his earlier angry glare. "Who's a cute little soldier kittums, then? Would puss like some nice catnip?"

As the Reizen household staff officers whimpered their wordless terror in counterpoint to the dark demon's cloyingly dulcet crooning, the pale naked demon left behind in the circle scratched himself idly behind one ear and slunk away on all fours, sniffing aimlessly at tufts of grass and heaps of flower petals and scraps of discarded clothing as he ambled about. A soiled handkerchief came fluttering damply down from the deck of the Mokushiroku to land in front of him; he shot to attention at the sight of the falling item and pounced upon it like it was exactly what it was, a small square of cloth delightfully imbued with an assortment of deliciously aromatic bodily fluids. Snatching the sodden cloth up in his teeth, he worried it gleefully with a shake of his head and bounded off towards the gardens where he could chew up his prize in peace.

As the demon's pale form vanished into the distance, the driver's hatch of the tank swung open with a resounding clang. "Time for me to save the day and clean up everyone else's messes, AGAIN," Suguri grumbled, hoisting his comically oversized tranquilizer gun to his shoulder with practiced ease.

**Author's Note:**

> Dear Bad Bang Recipient:
> 
> I hope you appreciate all the work I put into your gift! We were matched on Kuroshitsuji but you must have been in a hurry when you signed up, because you failed to nominate Pluto-kun as a character when he is clearly the most objectively interesting character in the entire canon. So I fixed your prompt and wrote about Plu-Plu anyway because I'm sure you wouldn't want to be playing into the latent speciesism and canine erasure so prevalent in human-centric fandom spaces by ignoring the only major dog in the canon. You're welcome. 
> 
> Also I'm really not that much into Kuro anymore and only put it in my nominations to fill out the list, but we all know if there's anything anime and manga fandoms are desperately lacking it's crossovers and AU fic, right? So I wrote you an AU crossover for a couple of my current favorites, which also just happen to be canons that are really good on the representation front for non-human characters and interspecies communication issues. You should check them out, they're really cute and sweet and fluffy. And last but not least, I put in cameos from two of your other requested canons, even though I'm not really into those fandoms at all, because I'm just that generous and thoughtful and really wanted your Bad Bang experience to be wonderful! 
> 
> (BTW, if anyone is wondering why Akio's ears and fur don't match, that was deliberate so no flames about getting it wrong, OK? I headcanon that he's not a natural silverette, so in this universe the fur on his ears is where his real color is showing.) 
> 
> Enjoy, and please don't forget to R&R!


End file.
